Medical Student T.S. (26), University Erlangen/New York, D/USA
In: Why me?, WCC, Geneva, CH, 2001

... “It is not enough to help a frail person stand on his feet; one has to support him for a while on his way, until he can manage it on his own.” Chinese proverb
Erika Schuchardt shows in her book how important it is to support both people affected by serious illness or through other crises…
In reading the book it became clear to me that it is precisely their doubts and fears, admitting their own helplessness that makes caregivers credible in the eyes of those affected …
A severe stroke of fate often leads us to loose our faith in God. It seems as though all our pleas for a way out of our situation seem to be in vain; and what about God? “How can you (God) do this to me? What have I done to make you abandon me like this?” I, too, had an embittered argument with God, but as long as I can accuse God he is still in me. Through accusing God and being allowed to accuse him, many of those affected and their families find their way back into God’s secure arms.
God reveals me, that we are not abandoned; we begin to feel both our will to live and the ever-growing zest for life that evolves out of this; we are cared for and accompanied on our journey back to life, even if it might be to a life with sickness...

Review: The signal: A Reader's Letter

“It is not enough to help a frail person up, you have to support him for a while on the way, until he can manage on his own.” Chinese proverb

This saying has often crossed my mind since I was discharged from hospital. So many visitors came to see me while I was a patient in the ward! But most visitors are sure that once you are discharged from hospital, you are fine and will somehow be able to manage on your own. In the first stages of the illness (or other crisis situations) they are all there – and probably will be there for your funeral. But what about support in the meantime?

Erika Schuchardt shows in her book how important that support is for people affected by serious illness or other crises. In the ideal case, we, the suffering, are supported by our family, our partner and some friends. However, everyone can become a source of care if they are prepared to get involved to listen to the afflicted, to be of practical help in everyday life, and to signal to them: “You are not alone, you are still a complete and valuable person in my eyes.”

I just have to demand that the persons accompanying me go through all the phases in the learning process in working through crisis described in Erika Schuchardt’s book, together with me, the sufferer, bear with my fears and deficiencies, my helplessness, and not to try to console me about my suffering: “Everything has a meaning, see your sickness as an opportunity.”

Of course, people grow particularly in extreme situations, but from the point of view of an affected person I have to say: “I would have quite liked to do without this ‘opportunity’, my life had meaning b e f o r e the crisis as well.” Instead of helping, with phrases alienate and isolate people in crises: “I know nobody would understand.”

In reading the book it became clear to me that it is precisely their doubts and fears, their admitting of their own helplessness that makes caregivers credible in the eyes of those affected.

A hard stroke of fate often leads us to loose our faith in God. It seems as though all our pleas for a way out of our situation are in vain; and what about God? “How can you do this to me? What have I done to make you abandon me like this?” I, too, had an embittered argument with God, but as long as I can accuse God he is still in me. Through accusing God and being allowed to accuse him, many of those affected and their families find their way back to the security of God.
This situation is expressed perfectly in poetic language in the story ‘Footprints in the Sand’ – printed in the inside of the cover -.
It shows me that we are not abandoned. We begin to feel our will to live and the ever-growing zest for life that springs from this. We are cared for and accompanied on our journey back to life, even if, perhaps, to a life with sickness.